The best effect of fine persons is felt after we have left their presence. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Cultivating a coaching presence is a practice of awareness in action – of being your authentic best self, moment to moment within the context of a coaching session, aware and free of the pressures of conflicting, limiting or contradictory beliefs and totally present and attentive to the needs of your coachee.
This practice requires a commitment to mindfulness which enables the coach to quiet and still the mind, centre in the heart and be fully and attentively present to the moment. Actively listening and attending to whatever presents without judgment creates the safe and supportive, non judgmental space that enables the coachee to give themselves permission to explore their questions and discover new possibilities for action.
Imagine Being the Best Coach You Can Be
Being the Best You Can Be is a process of becoming – of step by step, intentional and creative transformation towards a particular vision – a dream or ideal self you want to realize and experience yourself to be. Cultivating a mindful presence gets you there.
Barriers to Overcome
Self-sabotaging and limiting beliefs get in the way of being fully present in the coaching relationship. Here are a few you may recognize that reveal the presence of conflicting or contradictory beliefs or judgments that get in your way:
- Feeling worried, impatient, frustrated or anxious
- Trying too hard, being too eager, overbearing – unable to quiet and still the mind
- Unable to listen deeply, actively and be present in the moment.
- Rushing the coachee – Talking too much, not trusting the process
- Distracted – thinking about other things
- Thinking negatively about yourself (self-doubts creeping in – Am I good enough? Will I be able to help?)
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson
Transformation and empowerment for the coachee as well as for the coach begins with awareness of discomfort, agitation or dissatisfaction and the decision to improve the situation.
Awareness creates the possibility for transformation. Stepping into transformation takes faith, self-honesty and courage with the promise of achieving:
- Relief from pain and discomfort, and
- Transforming conflict to inner peace, acceptance and empowerment
The coaching session provides a framework, a laboratory for personal growth for both the coach and the coachee. While the coach manages the process to inspire hope and a vision for something better – a process that leads to the coachee’s empowered and strategic action; the coaching journey also provides the coach with the opportunity for personal growth. Coaching presence is cultivated through awareness and skills development and is powerful in deepening coachee rapport and connection.
Lynn McCloskey, one of my business coaching clients, recently wrote:
“The first time I met with Julia she was immediately able to elicit information from the depths of my soul and reflect it back to me as though she were feeling the same things. I have never experienced this before with other coaches and was pleasantly surprised. She never told me what I should do but simply supported what came through the sessions organically. This not only allowed me to be in the moment but also encouraged me to be open and let the information flow between us. Coaching with Julia helped me realize the emotional pain my tribe has gone or is currently going through and showed me new ways to build rapport and connections. I learned how to let go of guilt, self-doubt and the “Compare & Despair” mindset and how to be open, receptive, allow myself to be guided and to step up and live my full potential.”
Here are six mindfulness attitudes and practices I have integrated into my coaching practice to help me get out of my own way, develop intuitive awareness (perception and sensitivity) and cultivate my coaching presence:
- Observing without judgment
- Trusting the process – Being unattached to the outcome of a session
- Being Committed to service – Client-focused
- Actively Listening (responding vs reacting)
- Compassionate intent to help and support the coachee, no matter what
- Attentive and Abiding – holding the space for the coachee, without expectation, to step into possibility, explore and discover options, and make choices.
Your coaching presence is a reflection of your coaching skills. Every coach needs a coach. Schedule your complimentary discovery session with me today and experience mindfulness coaching in action.
This article was first published in the May 2014 edition of Worldwide Coaching Magazine
About Julia von Flotow
Greetings Julia:
In having a quick overview of your institute and the imagery around your processes, I am struck by the similarities in the imagery and concepts. Not surprising of course since I have been on a seekers path for sacred knowledge for over 17 years now. What I have observed is your use of the visual of the Fibonacci model which we have been using for a number of years in our own teachings on infinity and the realtionship of the energy field to the energy contained within the pyramids.
We have actually gone further with this study and have developed a process using a T Zone machine to accelerate the physical, mental, emotional , and spiritual healing processes. Integration of these two concepts is currently being tested by a friend of mine Catherine Allons – who might be interested in sharing with you what she has learned using the machine and some of her other disciplines used over the years.
she can be contacted at cathy.allon (at) energyawakening.com if you are interested in exploring similarities of process. we have been working with the Maya elders on the application of their older /newer breathing techniques that also add to the efficacy of "change" I can forward you a program that we are using if you are interested – just send me your e-mail address.
trust all is well – looks like you are doing great work.
Peace
Mitch