Many of our fears are tissue-paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. Brendan Francis
Imagine exploring your interior landscape in much the same way you might explore a new region. What might you encounter? What might you learn about yourself? What might you discover?
All it takes is to give yourself permission to stop thinking and start feeling. Over time and with practice, you will come to recognize your felt sensations as your guides. What would happen if you were to follow them – go right into them and see to what feeling state they might take you, examine what they want to tell you and explore the depth of your feelings, much like an underwater diver explores the ocean fauna and flora.
In the process, you may come across some emotional shipwrecks, emotions triggered by past events which you’ve denied or suppressed that lie buried, deep within you. By tuning in, and acknowledging feeling states and emotions as they are experienced and taking time to recognize and appreciate them, you will come to learn how to balance your inner feeling state, manage stress and heal yourself.
We lift ourselves by our thought, we climb upon our vision of ourselves. Orison Swett Marden
Like a pianist practices the musical scale, I invite you to explore and develop your own emotional range; discover the sound/colour/feel/smell and taste of your emotions and experience your unexplored feeling states with full awareness becoming fearless in the process.
Befriending your Emotions – a 6 Step Process
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Recognize, acknowledge, name it
As soon as you feel a change in your feeling state recognize and acknowledge it. Name it (See the e-motion and feeling scale above).
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Process it
Analyze what affected the change in your feeling state. What was the trigger? Did you gain or lose energy? Take note. If the catalyst for a negative emotional response was external to you, address it – speak up immediately. You may feel transgressed or intellectually put down, emotionally not respected. Let the other know that you know.
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Consider your options
Embrace the feeling – go into it. Consider your goal (do you wish to gain or lose energy? What is the appropriate response, if any? Choose your next thought and watch the impact on your feeling state (is it up or down on the E-motion and Feeling Guidance Scale). What e-motion did you experience? What feeling state resulted?
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Respond
Prepare and deliver your response with outcomes in mind. Monitor your barometer. Pay attention to what feels right for you and respect and honor yourself. You can invite a challenge when you’re ready, on your terms. Be mindful of your affect on others and how their response impacts you.
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Assess Outcome
Where are you on the emotional guidance scale? Higher or lower?
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Plan your next move
The emotional guidance scale below can be a useful framework for improving emotional intelligence and help you learn to cope with your emotions.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by strong emotions, coaching can help you develop self awareness, self knowledge and your emotional intelligence quotient empowering you to make the choices you need to live passionate lives and have the impact you want to have in your world. Learn more about our coaching services and programs.
Better still, schedule your free strategy session with Julia today.
About Julia von Flotow
