Who doesn’t get caught up in mind games? It’s a common past time in our culture that looks something like this:
- Invent or focus on a problem
- Define it, identify the symptoms and contributing factors
- Design or create a solution for it.
- Test it and write a book about it
- Create a product and monetize your knowledge
- Get rich
This pattern of being that we’ve grown up with has everyone looking for problems to solve and to fix…It’s the way the world works and is the mental paradigm that has led to our current unsustainable situation and is embedded at the very core of our culture, reflected in the societal structures and cultural mores, keeping us stuck on the road to nowhere, just busier and busier and busier. The question is, “Can we stop?” “Can you stop at will or is this mindset, that you’ve made your own, control you?”
What in effect is happening here? Is this mental paradigm as a fraud, an imposter?
Positioning itself as a way of helping others the “I’ve got the solution – Look at me! Mr or Ms Fix-it” mindset enslaves us and others and fosters one upmanship, alienation, segregation, dissonance and dis-ease. Some Mr or Ms Fix-its even create problems so they can fix them – it’s what we call iatrogenic disease in medicine, where the intervention has actually been cause of a disease and so… the few get rich and the masses, who have been identified by the few as having the problem and are “being helped” become dependent. A sure recipe for conflict!
So why do we do it?
Human beings are creatures of habit. We’ve observed and experienced this paradigm in action all around us, in our families, in society, in corporate culture and in government. Behind the action and pretence of helping others are some basic assumptions or beliefs about people and money.
- People don’t know how to help themselves
- People are generally weak
- People don’t know what they want
- People know what they don’t want
- People don’t want pain
- People will pay to get rid of pain
- Problems create pain
Awareness is the greatest agent of change.
Recognizing the paradigm in action is the first step towards choice. To create a new paradigm – a new way of thinking about and seeing the world, we need to stop and reflect. In so doing, we free ourselves, even for a moment, from the habits of thinking and doing that control us, to assess our situation and accept what is; consider our options and envision what can be – what we want, set goals; and then take action towards them.
Energy follows the attention of the mind. What you focus on grows!
A mental paradigm that is productive and aligned with your goals is critical to your success. Creating them is intentional work that coaching facilitates. It starts with taking responsibility for yourself. Creating empowering new beliefs that help you achieve your goals grows out of a process of deepening self-awareness and self respect.
Mental affirmations that are anchored in positive feelings about yourself and your life are Self-affirming and move you into empowered action for a life on purpose – a heart-centered life with zero tolerance for mind games, designed to enslave or control you and/or others.
Learning how to get out of your own way and trusting your Self is a leadership practice. Give coaching a try. Schedule your complimentary strategy session today.
About Julia von Flotow
