When I heard that Michel, a former Therapeutic Touch student of mine, was diagnosed with a variety of complex cancers on August 23rd and had been given 3 – 6 months to live, I resolved to do all I could to provide her with comfort and support to the end of her life and the idea of a Healing Team was born.
I reached out to my Therapeutic Touch Practice Group and body of students to pull together a Healing Team of eight Therapeutic Touch practitioners. The team, collectively, offered Michel sixty-two Therapeutic Touch sessions over the next three months to her transition on December 9th.
Starting on September 6th, daily sessions were scheduled primarily in the evenings to help Michel get a good night’s sleep, provide comfort and alleviate pain from surgery.
In early October, when Michel’s medical regimen included radiation and chemo, we offered Michel healing sessions every other day with practitioners visiting her wherever she happened to be, either in the home or in the hospital.
Together, Michel and I would plan out the healing schedule for the coming week based on her appointments and needs. Then I would coordinate with the practitioners to meet schedule requirements and then send it to Michel with the list of practitioners and their contact information so she would know, in advance, who to expect. The practitioners always contacted Michel before leaving their homes to ensure Michel was still open to having a visit and Therapeutic Touch healing session that day.
Michel agreed to have Healing Team members share their insights and session reflections with me by email following their visits which I shared with her in our weekly chats. As a student of Therapeutic Touch herself, she was interested in learning more. It created a wonderful open circle of support and information sharing. Some of these are shared below, with permission.
Halfway through her journey on October 25th, I received this note:
“The Therapeutic Touch Healing Team and distance healing I am receiving contribute immensely to the peacefulness of my journey. With deep appreciation and gratitude, Michel”
To gain an understanding of how the Healing Team worked for Michel, here are some excerpts from reports from team member’s visits:
Month One, September 6 – October 5th Michel received daily healing sessions
“The site of the operation is still bothering her and she is at a point where it feels like the wound is healing so she is ready for the physio that should be coming soon. She had a nice walk about the park and her colour showed it. She talked about brain fog and mental fuzziness and seems to be getting clearer each time I see her. Michel was telling me the last two nights she has been able to sleep without sleeping pills! I left her sleeping.”
“Her mood swings were less noticeable than last week. She talked about the tightness in her spine and said it was bothering her. She also mentioned that she knew it was healing. Michel was much more active today. She answered the door to let me in. However, she had taken some meds and they were making her feel fuzzy. When I left Michel, she was breathing deeply and appeared to be sound asleep.”
“Michel is doing very well… has not taken a sleeping pill in a week, reducing her pain meds at her own pace and I could see she was happy about this. Still feeling fuzzy but now having moments she feels clear. Still feels tightness across the shoulders. I also sense there is some shift emotionally for her although I am unclear what
I left her sleeping peacefully after a long day. I do sense we are making a difference. A positive common thread to her days that brings her peace, grounding, love and calmness”
“Michel had a long day of guests and yummy food and trying so hard to keep it all together that, by the time I got to see her she was quite tired and emotional. We sat quietly together as she released some of those pent up tears. I spent time grounding her into that lovely space she is sleeping in that feels full of love and hope.”
“When I first got to Michel’s we chatted for a while and she told me about her experience with the Therapeutic Touch sessions. When I suggested we start, she took my hand and thanked me for offering my time. The treatment lasted around 35 minutes and felt very complete.”
“I spent time with Michel this morning. She is presently changing some of her meds so was feeling a little foggy. The tightness at the top of her neck/spine is still bothering her. However, she still has her lovely smile. She feels that she is surrounded by so much love and caring and is very grateful. We had a great visit and when I left she was sleeping.”
“Last night’s session went well… I left with her sleeping peacefully. Monday she starts radiation. Tuesday or Wednesday she stopped taking the long acting morphine. Michel said she hardly feels fuzzy at all and enjoys the feeling of being in her body. With that though, comes the feeling of pain in her stomach and the neck area a little more sensitive. The flip side is, she finally felt again that connection with the kids which is so important to her. They spent some time together playing and she was thrilled. The numbness in the spine and chest has not gone away.”
“What an amazing woman, Michel is! From what I perceived tonight she has definitely turned a bend in her journey. She’s transformed her attitude from feeling a victim, overwhelmed and reeling from her experience to being positive, optimistic, hopeful and pro-active, claiming her experience as her own and wanting to be fully present to it. She seems to have fully accepted her situation and is committing to the choice of radiation and chemo she’s made and is looking forward to the benefits they have to offer her. I left her sleeping peacefully.”
“Michel was, as expected, exhausted from her week of radiation. I found her barely able to keep her eyes open and although we chatted for about 10 minutes, she faded in and out. She had some nausea during the radiation. She is scheduled to start chemo on the 14th. The session went well… she was sleeping before I even got started.”
“Saw Michel at 8 last evening. She was very tired and said that the fatigue is really setting in. Her colour wasn’t as good as it has been and I sensed her spirits were pretty low – a shift from previous visits. She expressed some concern about the chemo next week. She said that her appetite is good but she can’t eat a lot due to the distension in her abdomen. Treatment lasted around 30 minutes. Michel fell asleep quickly and was restless in her sleep but didn’t awake.”
“I just came in from visiting Michel. She is extremely tired and not sleeping very well. Michel spent part of Monday at Toronto Western Hospital with severe chest pains. It turned out she had fluid/water on her lungs. They told her there was nothing they could do for her (not life threatening). Since she’s been home she is only getting a couple of hours sleep and than the pain wakes her up. I left Michel breathing evenly and sleeping.”
Month 2 – Michel starts chemo treatments – 16 healing sessions
“A little report for yesterday. We kept the talking really short, Michel was feeling wiped out from the chemo. Her main issue was nausea. She was very comfortable in bed and we timed the visit so she would be able to go to sleep for the night following the treatment. Prior to the session she was wheezing and her breath was laboured. Early on in the session her breathing became relaxed, slow and freer. I don’t think she was totally asleep when I left but she was definitely zoned-out.”
“Michel is on the 8th floor in the hospital. She is very pale, exhausted, can’t keep anything down, is on IV fluids and pain meds. Her tummy is giving her pain and they haven’t figured out why yet. She has been throwing up a lot since Wednesday as the chemo really started to kick in. Her next chemo treatment is to be Monday and she said to me that she is debating if she should go through with it. I suggested she had lots of time to make that decision and best to let it sit until the weekend when she can talk to family about it… She did admit that making a decision like that with pain and nausea going on was not the best idea.
The session went well, her hiccups disappeared, she seemed clearer and more grounded when I was done and she fell into a light sleep!”
“Visited Michel yesterday. She had just had a rather disturbing experience where a doctor had drained fluid build-up from the abdominal cavity so she was feeling very vulnerable. We talked for a while and she had a little cry. She fell asleep during the treatment and I left her asleep. She has discomfort from abdominal bloating and constipation, was feeling extremely fed up with being in the noisy hospital environment and finding it hard to get any long restful sleep.”
“I visited Michel at Toronto Western Hospital today. Michel had just vomited before I arrived so was definitely not feeling well. She is still on IV but is also trying to keep solids down. She is hoping to go home tomorrow. During the session there was continual loud noises and talking because medical staff were also looking after the other patients in Michel’s room. However, I did get Michel to settle into a relaxed state – her breathing was deeper and slower. She also said she was extremely warm and she felt much cooler when I finished the session. As I closed her curtain she opened her eyes and we blew each other a kiss.”
“I visited Michel last evening. She was up and about but was extremely pale and tired looking. However, she was very happy to be home. Michel said her stomach is a lot better and she is eating. They have changed her patch medication and it is supposed to make her less drowsy. Her breathing when I left her was even and deep. She appeared to be sleeping.”
“Just leaving Michel’s now… She was sleeping deeply and her breathing seemed better. Tomorrow Michel will begin a second round of chemo. She was scared of what may happen but also made the choice to give it another try as not doing at least one more would have felt to her that she had not really tried all she could. She still feels some pain in her upper neck and liver and now has some swelling in her feet. She looked much better (colour in her cheeks). She gets out for a little walk each day, she seemed so much more herself.”
Month 3 – Healing Team visit and sessions every other day – 16 healing sessions offered.
“Michel had very low energy tonight. She looked and sounded tired. She said she’d been having a lot of nausea today, not keeping food down. I would say, the first time she seemed “down” to me. She mentioned she has chemo tomorrow and that she is finding the treatments, the process difficult. Usually I find her field very warm, large and strong – tonight it felt less dense, weaker. On assessment, it just seemed like she needed overall balancing and getting the energy flowing. She seemed somewhat restless throughout the session which lasted around 30 minutes. She was asleep when I left.”
“Saw Michel last night. She was feeling pretty nauseous from the chemo and looked grey and weak, but brightened up quite a bit when I arrived. Her feet are swollen and need to be elevated. During the session her hands and feet were a bit twitchy from time to time and her skin colour improved a bit. She eventually went into a deep sleep.”
“I’m just back from seeing Michel tonight. When I arrived she said she’d been very sleepy all day, was experiencing pain in her abdomen and swelling and discomfort in her feet. She also said, for the first time, “that she was preparing for the end…that the end was near.” I asked her what she was hoping for and she said, “I want to have good memories.” I offered her a guided meditation that moved into a healing session. I left her drifting off and will see her again on Sunday evening.”
“I visited Michel yesterday afternoon. She is not doing as well as she was last week. Michel did manage to answer the door, but went back to bed immediately. Her eyes were dull, her colour was gray and she looked absolutely exhausted. She said she was very queasy and tired. There was quite a bit of ‘twitching’ in her fingers and feet. I managed to quiet that. When I left Michel, her face was relaxed and she was sleeping.”
“Michel was very, very drowsy last night, and had been sleeping on and off all day. Her energy was very low and she could barely speak although she very sweetly tried. (She said it was the medications.) There is still a feeling of discomfort and tightness at the base of the neck that bothers her. Almost immediately she sank into sleep and that is how I left her.”
“Michel was welcoming and gracious. She was very tired and confused as to whether it was night or day. She had had chemotherapy that day and the medications were making her confused. We only briefly spoke before the session. Michel appeared to be sleeping when I left and her face looked relaxed.”
“Michel was in the kitchen and was eating mashed potatoes, peas and cheese when I arrived. She spoke of fatigue, deep, endless fatigue and how much the Therapeutic Touch sessions were helping. Before the session, Michel spoke of deep fatigue again, how difficult it was for her to focus and told me how helpful she found the Therapeutic Touch sessions – spoke of the gift of healing and the love it generates. Presenting discomfort was in her upper chest. She seemed to release and relax throughout session. I sat with her for 10 minutes after the session”
“Just back from my visit with Michel tonight. She’s been having a rough time this week. Not eating or keeping things down, nausea and incessant hiccups. The pain meds she’s on provoke muscular twitches which wake her up. She’s also not been able to sleep very well. She’s often very confused and speaks of hallucinations she’s having, none of them frightening and some of which she laughs about. Her medical team see her as an enigma and want to spend some time (up to a week) observing her 24/7 so Michel’s waiting for a bed to free up in Princess Margaret Hospital and could be there as early as tomorrow.
She was very restless tonight although she did calm down significantly and lost the hiccups during our session.”
Michel was admitted to Princess Margaret Hospital where she felt safe and well cared for on Sunday December 8th and drew her last breath early the next morning.
Members of Michel’s Healing Team share their thoughts on their experience:
“I was touched by the love and joy that was always present in the house. Pictures by Michel’s niece and nephew with their declarations of love for her, pinned close by, became a part of each treatment. Laughter drifting through the curtains, sounds of teeth brushing and getting ready for bed, all holding Michel and I during the session. I so clearly felt being a part of the whole – the web that connects us all. I am so grateful to have met Michel and her family and to have been part of the team that brought Michel some comfort.” JH
“I found being invited to give Therapeutic Touch sessions to a young woman living through deep uncertainty and pain was an immensely valuable learning experience. When treating Michel I was very aware of her real and immediate need and her fear, and I felt honoured by her trust. I really wanted to be able to provide some ease and comfort, help her heal or simply help her deal with the painful now.” MF
“I felt honoured to have shared just a very small part of Michel’s journey towards her transition and able to assist her in a way that she felt would best support her. The courage she needed to face her fear of the unknown and find strength to encourage us to assist her reminds me of how the human spirit lives on, even as we are dying.” MG
Learn more about Therapeutic Touch
Discover the Four Stages of the Therapeutic Touch Learning Journey
Sign up for a Therapeutic Touch workshop
About Julia von Flotow
